WHAT KIND OF GIRL by Alyssa Sheinmel

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What kind of girl stays with a boyfriend after he hits her? This is the question that one of our two protagonists continues to ask herself because she stayed for several months and she doesn’t know why. It’s a question that occurs to her peers, her BFF, her parents, etc. She even wonders if the abuser (Mike) knew she would keep quiet.

But then, why did I wait? Why didn’t I come forward sooner? What kind of girl stays after her boyfriend hits her? What kind of girl gets hit in the first place?

No self-respecting girl would stay with a guy who hit her. I don’t care how many times he apologizes or promises not to do it again or tells you he loves you. 

Maybe the kind of girl who gets hit in the first place is the kind of girl who stays. The kind of girl who cheats rather than leaving.

Maya even tries rationalizing the abuse and why she stayed with him. She questions her feelings for Mike after reporting him to the principal. She considers all her feelings — such as  both loving and hating him — and the questions she ponders are pertinent and reasonable. 

I thought it wasn’t that big a deal. I thought it would stop, eventually. I thought it was worth it if I still got to be with him. It seemed like a small price to pay for how good things were the rest of the time.

I’m supposed to hate him. I’m supposed to hate him because he hurt me. The problem is, I can hate him for hurting me and still love him for the way things were when he didn’t hurt me.

Maya even contemplates whether the term domestic abuse applies because typically we’ve heard it in relation to a married couple. But alas, it does apply.

Does domestic violence even apply to us, to Mike and me, a couple of teenagers? We’re not married. We don’t live together. Like my mom said, there’s no house to sell, no child custody to negotiate. We have our whole lives ahead of us. In one of the articles I read last week, I saw words like dating abuse and relationship violence. Are those the right words?

The other protagonist is her best friend Junie who suffers from a different form of abuse - self-harm in the form of cutting.  Sheinmel paints an incredibly rich and realistic picture of such a person and how this behavior is a coping mechanism. I never completely understood what drives people to cutting aside from a self-destructive tendency and this book opened my eyes to the motivation behind such behavior. 

...made a tiny cut on my inner thigh. And I felt better. It was a relief, like all that energy finally had a way to escape. My heart stopped racing, my hands stilled. I had one thing—the pain—to focus on, and suddenly it was easy to concentrate on that, and only that.

What Kind of Girl is a powerful story about two teen girls as they navigate through their issues and their worlds. Both girls’ inner dialogues add a rich layer to their stories and makes them very real and three-dimensional. Alyssa Sheinmel excels at creating teen characters that are very believable that you really get to know. She presents a  very realistic portrayal of someone in a dating abuse situation.

The book touches on many themes relevant to young women today — besides dating violence and self-harm, bulimia is also explored and dealt with in a realistic way. The consequences for the domestic violence, committed by the school’s “golden boy,” is another important issue that is introduced into the story. Should Mike be expelled? If he is, he won’t get the scholarship he is counting on to attend college. Interestingly, the school did not have a policy in place for this kind of behavior and Sheinmel sends the message that they should. This is my second book by Alyssa Sheinmel and I look forward to her next one.

Thank you to Sourcebooks Fire and NetGalley for an advance reader copy in exchange for my honest opinion.

THE FAMILY UPSTAIRS by Lisa Jewell

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This was a fun ride that held my attention and kept me turning pages as fast as I could. I really liked that the chapters were so short because then I was much more inclined to say “I’ll just read more more chapter” and then an hour or two zipped by. This was the first book I’ve read by Lisa Jewell and won’t be my last.

The story is told from three perspectives - Libby (present day), Lucy (present day) and Henry (past). The story is a bit creepy and sinister but yet believable enough. Libby has just turned 25 and is informed that she has inherited a mansion from her birth parents.  But what she doesn’t yet know was that when she was a baby, her real parents died in a suicide pact with another man and her two teen siblings disappeared. To help her investigate what happened to her parents and siblings, Libby befriends a newspaper reporter who originally worked on the story and is willing to help her. 

The Family Upstairs is a dark and twisty family drama that you’ll be hard pressed to put down. The interweaving of the past and present through the different narratives is well done. There are several reveals that took me completely by surprise. While the characters are well-developed, they are not all likable. In fact, there is a sinister and evil man David who charms himself into the household with his family. He is a manipulative person, most likely a psychopath, who gains control and won’t let go. It is a story that shows how fragile and vulnerable a family can be to outside influences... that actually come inside.

FIND YOUR FLOW by Sarah Gregg

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Do you feel unfulfilled? Are you successful but still not feeling happy? Then this is the book for you! Find Your Flow is basically a how-to guide that explains what you need to do in order to be happy. But it isn’t a magical solution — in other words, you won’t become happy just from reading it. It will require daily work on your part and the author clearly lays out a four-step system that she personally vouches for.  

This is a friendly and motivating book that’s determined to make you happier. It is a relatively short book, which I really appreciate because it is so practical, filled with recommendations and things to do and/or change in order to get you on the road to happiness. This book is not bogged down with unnecessary stories or abstract theories. It is not at all abstract and is not filled with theory or quotes from pontificating academics. Rather, it is succinct and clear plus at the end, there is a worksheet to get you started. It is very well researched book, providing footnotes and sources. Results of relevant psychological studies are conveyed without jargon or unnecessary detail. Sarah peppers the text with anecdotes to illustrate major points and will sometimes use her own life experience as an example.

I am sure many of you have heard of Flow.  Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi published a book called Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience in 1990 and followed it up seven years later with Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life.  What I didn’t know is that in a 2004 TED talk, Csikszentmihalyi revealed that Flow is the secret to happiness. Importantly, achieving Flow is something that you yourself can do and Sarah shows you how to do it.

Sarah recommends a daily journal system based on Flow. Essentially, you will start each day with positivity/gratitude and end your day with reflection. Sarah is very clear about the specific questions to address and when to do so. I can hear you saying — Oh no, do I have to write in a journal every day? Yes you do but it only takes a few minutes in the morning and at night. You will find it much more beneficial to your mental state to do this journal first thing in the morning instead of checking your email or the news.

Because Sarah finally found happiness with her system, as did her friends and family, she generously decided to share it with the world in this book. How lucky we are!

Thank you to Quarto Publishing Group - Rock Point and NetGalley for a temporary advance reader copy in exchange for my honest opinion.