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A Danger to Herself and Others is a YA novel that deals with mental illness and coming to terms with a diagnosis. The book is part mystery, part thriller and is a compelling and fast read. I recommend it and I plan to read Sheinmel’s previous books. A Danger to Herself and Others grabbed me with the very first sentence:
“When I first got here - when they brought me here - a man with blue pants and a matching shirt, both of which looked like they were made out of paper, asked me questions.”
We soon learn that our protagonist is Hannah Gold, a 17 year old high school student is in a mental institution after her roommate Agnes is in a terrible accident and she is a suspect. Hannah keeps reminding herself and the reader that it is exactly that — an accident. She wholeheartedly believes that her “imprisonment” is a huge mistake and is determined to correct it and get back to school.
A Danger to Herself and Others keeps the reader guessing and it’s not clear what’s real and what’s not. Is Hannah a reliable narrator? I was intrigued by Hannah’s description of the hospital’s setting the end of chapter 1 and the end of chapter 2, which led me to suspect that she is an unreliable narrator:
“I stand on my tiptoes to look out my small window and wait for the few plants and trees I can see to dry out and die.” (end of ch.1)
“It’s not true that I can only see a few plants from here. We’re actually in the middle of a forest. I was lying before.” (end of ch. 2)
One gets to know Hannah well through her internal thought process. Some of her thinking is pure stream of consciousness which I enjoyed reading, like at the beginning of chapter 5 when she looks at and contemplates the sky, then the ceiling, then the walls, and then the ceiling lights. From there she imagines what would happen if the bulbs stopped working. Would they let a maintenance worker come in her room to fix them, considering that they have labelled her “a danger to herself and others?” Would they send her outside? There is a lot more detail to these thoughts in Hannah’s mind.
Sheinmel writes Hannah as witty and clever, which makes A Danger to Herself and Others a more entertaining read. For example, she nicknames her psychiatrist Dr. Lightfoot because she wears ballet slippers and taps the floor as she walks. Also, Hannah doles out interesting tidbits to ponder along the way.
"I suppose your name is the first thing that ever really belongs to you, but when you think about it, it’s not yours at all. Your parents chose it.”
“They needed someone to blame, and I was the only available scapegoat. Their daughter was my best friend. Playing the scapegoat was the least I could do under the circumstances.”
“Being locked up is absurdly boring. The monotony is enough to drive a sane person crazy.”
Some of Hannah’s thinking is amusing, which endears herself to the reader. She is a likable protagonist and I found myself rooting for her.
“I know a bedpan is supposed to be humiliating, but I have to disagree. There’s something oddly luxurious about not having to leave the bed to pee. And about the fact that someone else has to take your waste away. You don’t even have to flush it yourself.”
“I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like thinking, either. Thinking means doubting, and doubting means Lightfoot has gotten under my skin like a rash that won’t stop spreading. Doubt means I’m beginning to believe what she says about me. I wish there were an antidoubt drug I could take instead of whatever Lightfoot gave me.”
Hannah alludes to a classic psychology experiment in the early 1970s in which a psychologist and others easily get themselves admitted to a mental hospital after claiming they heard voices saying empty, hollow and thud. Once they are diagnosed and admitted, these pseudo patients explain that they are not insane and act normally. However, now that they have been labelled, all their subsequent behavior is viewed thru the mentally ill filter. For example, they take copious notes since this is a research experiment but such behavior is considered obsessive-compulsive by the hospital staff. The conclusion was essentially that one cannot differentiate between the sane and insane within the confines of a mental hospital.
“‘Whoa there,’ he says, reaching out to catch me. I want to shrug off his touch, but I don’t. He might report it to Dr. Lightfoot. I imagine her noting the incident in my file. Hannah Gold doesn’t like to be touched by nameless strangers. Out in the real world, that’s good common sense. In here, it’s a symptom."
“Well, I understand everything. I understand that Dr. Lightfoot is lying to me, playing some kind of game, enjoying a sick power trip. Maybe she’s still mad at me for getting locked out of my room the other day. Maybe she wants to remind me that she’s the one in control, that as long as I’m in this room, the truth is whatever she decides it is.”
But that is Hannah’s mission, as she sees it, to prove to them that she is completely fine, this has all been a terrible mistake and what happened to Agnes was an accident. But does she know what she is really up against? Is her thinking in fact faulty and is she irrational?
Thank you to Sourcebooks Fire and NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
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