THE MOTHER-IN-LAW by Sally Hepworth

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Why does the Mother-in-Law always get the bad rap? Sometimes it’s deserved and sometimes not. I’ll let you be the judge. The distinctive feature of this book, my first by Sally Hepworth, is that it’s told from two POVs — the Mother-in-Law (Diana) and the Daughter-in-Law (Lucy).  The reader gains insight into their complicated relationship by learning how each of their perceptions of the same situation and/or their motivations differ.  In typical fashion, the Mother-in-Law seems like an awful and unfair person who seeks to control her children but when I read Diana’s POV, it gave me a whole different take and my opinion of her changed accordingly.  It’s so easy for misunderstandings to occur and this book drives that point home.

But for some reason, despite our similarities, when I look at her, all I see are our differences.

A Mother-in-Law can’t help but be in a no win situation. It’s difficult to navigate being attentive versus annoying, generous versus spoiling the grandchildren, having strong opinions versus being controlling, etc. Similarly, there is only so much a Daughter-in-Law can do to gain the approval of their Mother-In-Law.

Everyone, no matter how old they are, wants their mother’s approval. And EVERYONE, no matter who they are, wants their mother-in-law’s.

Of all the worries I’d had—that she wasn’t the mother-in-law I’d wanted, that she didn’t live up to my expectations—I hadn’t, narcissistically as it turns out, considered that she wouldn’t like me.

Someone once told me that you have two families in your life—the one you are born into and the one you choose. But that’s not entirely true, is it? Yes, you may get to choose your partner, but you don’t, for instance, choose your children. You don’t choose your brothers- or sisters-in-law, you don’t choose your partner’s spinster aunt with the drinking problem or cousin with the revolving door of girlfriends who don’t speak English. More importantly, you don’t choose your mother-in-law. The cackling mercenaries of fate determine it all.

The reader will definitely be drawn in by the first sentence:

I am folding laundry at my kitchen table when the police car pulls up.

The Mother-in-Law is a fun and fast read and I will definitely read more of Sally Hepworth’s work.